opazazzyzenClumsy and Comical

Four years ago, I took up running to keep those freshmen 15 away; (the macaroni and cheese from the dining hall and the beer games were starting to get the best of me.) Running seemed like the perfect solution to quickly shed some pounds.

And it was. I could run three miles and feel confident that I burned off 350 calories worth of macaroni. After just a few months, running became more than a way to keep in shape though. I started to like it.

Gasp!

I ran my first race a year later, the turkey trot in Cincinnati, Ohio. The moment I crossed the finish line I was hooked! Since then I’ve run six races and am currently training for the US Half-marathon in San Francisco.

Throughout training, I’ve fallen in love with a few products.

RunKeeper app
www.runkeeper.com

RunKeeper uses your phone’s GPS in order to track your route in Google Maps. The app also allows you to view your distance, running duration, average pace and speed, calories burned and feet climbed, (great for the steep elevations in San Francisco).

While the features are great for a free app, I only use it for one feature: my route shown on Google Maps.

It’s always made me nervous that no one knows where I am while on my runs. When I use this app though, someone can track me at www.RunKeeper.com. I keep my runs private from the public but give my login information to people I trust. That way, they can always find me.

Nike +
http://nikerunning.nike.com/

I use the Nike+ system to keep track of my mileage and average pace. The system is extremely accurate and allows you to hear your progress with just a click of a button. A receiver simply plugs into my iPod and the sensor fits into a pouch on my shoe.

One of my favorite features of the Nike+ is their website. My runs are organized into easy-to-read graphs and statistics. Here’s a quick glance at my latest run.

Nike+ Pouch
http://bit.ly/cjhFAf

For someone who doesn’t like to be forced into a certain brand of running shoe, a pouch for your Nike+ sensor is a must. I use Nathan Sport’s pouch. The pouch has Velcro straps that fit perfectly through the laces of my New Balances. It’s so light, you can’t even feel it’s there.

The Spibelt
http://www.spibelt.com/

The Spibelt is what I consider a cool version of a hip pack. The pouch is barely an inch wide but can expand to fit my iPhone and keys to my apartment- genius. Even the strap is genius; it’s made of elastic so fits snug against my waist. The design of this belt ensures that the objects in the pouch don’t bounce around.

Fitted Shorts
http://bit.ly/axr4sY

Runners can choose from a variety of bottoms: tights, compression shorts, jersey shorts and dri-FIT skirts and shorts. I have tried them all, (except the whole skirt thing), and my favorite is compression shorts.  The shorts stay in place and the material wicks away sweat from the body, which prevents chafing and rashes.

(Photo courtesy of http://nikerunning.nike.com/)

I’ve lived in San Francisco for about three weeks now and every day something takes me by surprise.

Just the other day I was sitting inside a café when I heard wings flapping very close to my head. I looked up and saw a pigeon had decided to enter the café from an opened window.

In Ohio this would have sent everyone in a tizzy, but in San Francisco people merely glanced at the bird and went back to their conversations. I sat there gawking at the bird and thinking how smart it was to pick this specific window to fly through; there were crumbs from pastries, a Mexican restaurant attached the back room and leftovers sitting on used tables. Talk about animals adapting to their environment.

I couldn’t help but throw my head back and laugh as one of the baristas slowly walked out from behind the corner with an exasperated look on his face and began chasing the pigeon. Luckily the barista was a fast-moving waddler, (yes, the barista waddled around the café after the bird). He waddled himself right behind the pigeon and scooped him up.

Another interesting occurrence that has happened more than once is the meeting of the branch.

The first time I met “the branch” I was running around the Fisherman’s Wharf and unfortunately missed the fact that ten people were staring in my direction with hopeful eyes. They were hoping the homeless guy hiding behind a branch would jump out at me and make me jump a mile. That day they got what they were wishing for.

As I passed him, the branch full with leaves began to wiggle and the man jumped out and screamed. I jumped a mile and the onlookers put money in his jar. I laughed but continued running with a heart that was beating twice its normal speed. Now that I consider myself more of a local (aka: I know how to get to the grocery store), I know to run behind the homeless guy with the branch and not infront of him.

I wonder how many times he’s been punched in the face?

Because I spend so much time running around the city, I have collected some pictures on my iPhone of the random things you see in San Francisco.

The giant noodle on Pier 39. “Please do not climb the noodle.”

The Bay Bridge in my backyard.

Towers so tall they reach the clouds.

Hidden gardens in a city where you rarely see grass.

Running from your front door to the Golden Gate Bridge.

Having a cruise ship parked in your backyard.

An endless line of sailboats.

And finally, “STOP! Hammer time!” at the Disrupt after party.

I told you homeboy, can’t touch this.

This past weekend my sister became Mrs. Lauren Smallwood. (Don’t worry, she’s already worrying about how her kids will be made fun of too.)

Although the wedding was full of drama and mishaps, (aka: the photographer didn’t show up, the police did show up, the ceremony was only 2 minutes long and the other side of my new family watched us for hours as we set everything up), my sister did have a wonderful night. That’s all I can ask for: a happily married sister.

She’s already changed her name on Facebook to “Lauren Smallwood” and continually updates her status with “Hanging out with my husband” or “Movie night with my wonderful husband.” I still can’t believe she’s married and not sure it will ever sink in.

With all of this wedding talk though, my dreams have been effected. Just last night I dreamt I was getting married (GAH!). The part of the dream that sticks out the most was when I was walking down the aisle. I looked up to see Ryan as he looked at me. And then he threw up.

I must have looked really nice walking down the aisle…

Anyways, one of my duties as my sister’s Maid of Honor was to give a speech in honor of the newly married couple (as well as help her go to the bathroom in her GIANT dress; she couldn’t find her own two feet beneath that poof). For my own sake, I wanted to post my speech here:

I’ve been Lauren’s sister since I was born, (that’s how these things work), so I know a few things about her relationship with Jeremy that you may not know.

But first off before I may or may not say anything embarrassing, I want to say how thrilled I am to be here in Denver celebrating your marriage. It is such an exciting time in your life and I want to thank you both for inviting us all to be with you today.

It seems so long ago now that Lauren was visiting me at Ohio State University and we happened to hit the bars with my boyfriend Ryan and his roommate, Jeremy (or as I’ve always known him, Smallwood).

Ryan and I knew we were in trouble when they were making googley eyes at each other across the table and Smallwood insisted on walking us home. At the end of the night though, we all went our separate ways. However soon enough Lauren was visiting Ohio State for someone other than me; she was going to see Jeremy.

It was an instant attraction and I soon realized that this relationship was a good thing for both of them. The support they give each other is endless and they both can’t get enough of one another. How lucky that they were able to find each other by a mere coincidence.

Lauren and I may have grown up fighting over My Little Ponies and our favorite N’SYNC singer; (there was even this one time she tried kicking me so I grabbed her foot. She then thought it was a good idea to kick me with her other foot. I stood there holding both of her feet, while she face planted into the ground.) But regardless of our typical childhood quarrels, we have grown up to truly appreciate one another.

As Lauren’s sister I am so grateful to see her with someone who is her perfect match.

Lauren, it is a real honor to be your Maid of Honor and your sister; so thank you very much. You are an amazing woman.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please could you stand and raise your glasses for the “Bride and Groom”.

May the two of you always be as giddily in love as you were when you first met.

(toast)

I want to adopt a bison.

After seeing over 25 bison in Yellowstone National Park, I fell in love with their big, furry beards and almost bare rears.

In fact, I was able to get up close and personal with two bison. The first hike my mom and I went on today, we ended up walking straight into two bison munching away on an afternoon snack. We were about 100 feet away from them but close enough to see their large horns and massive, 1000-pound body.

Obviously these animals are not to be messed with; however they were right in the middle of the trail. (I think bison are smart enough to realize that the trail most traveled is the easiest to maneuver on.)

My mom and I ended up crossing less than 30 feet away from the bison. They completely ignored us, while we walked along and had googely eyes for them.

A few times during the day my mom said, “If we’ve seen one geyser, we’ve seen them all.” I always responded with, “Seeing bison never gets old.” (Proving that Yellowstone was worth a visit just because I was able to see bison.) I was so in love that even the rocks started to look like bison.

I’m not going to go into details about the geysers because if you’ve heard about one geyser, you’ve heard about them all.

I will say one thing though:

Geysers smell like rotting eggs.

Day two of my trip across the country and my mom and I already stopped at our first tourist destination: Wall Drug Pharmacy, a unique, yet tacky, store. The store was built during the Great Depression but came to know success by offering a free glass of cold water. (Take note, your business only needs to offer free tap water to be successful.)

Since then the store has expanded to look like ten stores (all filled with tourist “junk”) and has collected various items for people to take pictures with. For example, nothing drew me in more than the giant T-Rex. Rex and I took a few pictures together before I headed to the giant hare and climbed up on his back.

My mom and I claimed our free cup of water and then jumped back in the car; nothing was bought…

Our next destination was Mount Rushmore! As we drove up to the monument I was thinking, “Wow, nothing like seeing four, dead presidents’ faces in a rock.”

The whole Mount Rushmore experience was a bit too patriotic for me. I love America, don’t get me wrong, but I never get teary eyed when a park ranger has 250 people stand up and recite the pledge of allegiance. I probably feel awkward because I fear I have to relive my cheerleading days. To this day, it haunts me to have to chant, clap, hit high-Vs and beam with pride alongside 20 other cheerleaders. 250 Americans are no different.

My mom and I “suffered” through the 30-minute patriotic presentation and recognitions because at 8:30 there was going to be a light show! A light show people!

The presentation ended with the ranger calling up all of the past veterans and recognizing each one. Mount Rushmore was then lit up and my mom and I prepared ourselves for the amazing and entertaining light show.

However people started getting up and leaving. My mom and I stared at each other thinking, “What about the light show? We waited for the light show. Was that single, light up of Mount Rushmore the light show?”

It was.

We left and cried all the way to our hotel.