A few years later I signed up to play soccer again, but this time on an all girl’s team. You’d think this time around I would be more focused on the sport and less worried about the people around me, but you are wrong. (I could have made a joke about my sexuality here but decided against it.) My best friend and I played side-by-side on the field as left and right fullbacks. Instead of helping the goalie protect the goal, we would sing songs, talk, and sit in the grass picking clovers. Go team!

I still hadn’t learned my lesson by the time fifth grade came around – the lesson that maybe soccer wasn’t my sport. (Honestly I should have been training to hunt for truffles to put my clover hunting to use.) My friend’s select soccer team needed one more player though so I volunteered. I should have known after the first practice that this was a big mistake on my part. I had yet to lose my baby fat and constantly felt like I was going to pass out from all the running we did at practice. I made it through the season – barely playing and never scoring. I humbly gave up soccer that year.

College rolls around and my friends want to play intramural soccer. I now know myself well enough to realize that I’m not good at soccer because 1) I have bad hand/foot/eye coordination and 2) I am not aggressive. When I think I’m being aggressive I’m really just fouling people. (My token move is to stop right in front of someone and make them plow over me.) I warn my friends of my weaknesses and they assure me our team is just out there to have fun. I spent most of the season running in circles and passing the ball to the wrong players.

And finally, I have reached the present – where soccer has asked me once again to shove on my cleats and pull out my moves. I got an email the other day inviting anyone from the office to participate in a soccer game against another startup – a battle of the startups so to say. “Oh, oh, oh – fun, fun, fun!” I quickly replied-all asking if this was a serious or fun match. The first response was something along the lines of “we will crush them.” The second response was a Youtube video highlighting a major soccer victory in history. I decided not to get in the way of my team’s victory and only participate in a soccer practice. (Leave the game to the big dogs.)

At practice it became evident to me once again that soccer will never be my sport – but no one, and I mean no one, can take away my token move.

Align. Stop. Be plowed over.

Hem, hem, yes! Will pack bags now.

I spent the next hour coordinating flights, a hotel room and switching off from my typical weekend shift, which is no longer typical! The next day I headed to the airport and took off for my 6 hour flight. I ended up surprising myself with a grown-up move and bought the internet, (yes, I now own the internet). I then spent the majority of the flight working.

It wasn’t until I touched down in New York that I felt a slight pang of nerves. I quickly took it all in and moved on to my next objective: get off the plane and run over as many people as I can with my luggage. After receiving world-class recognition for my plowing skills, I hopped in a cab. I’d also like to note that this was the most expensive cab rides I’ve ever taken at $60.00.

The cab driver, after chuckling a bit from the charge he just put on my credit card, dropped me off right in the heart of Times Square. My Kayak.com skills couldn’t have been any better! Although I may retract that statement after reflecting upon my stay at Stay, the hotel. As soon as I walked into the hotel, I realized that I was missing one hell of a party taking place somewhere on the first floor. I should have taken the hotel’s statement, “A place you can party all night and sleep all day!” a bit more seriously.

The room was nice though! Perfect for flying solo. Well, it was until I saw this above my bed:

She visited me in my dreams…

Before my not-so-peaceful night’s sleep though, I caught a cab to the first gluten-free restaurant that popped up on my Yelp search: Risotteria. As I gave them my order, I was giving them my I’m-so-grateful-for-you, puppy-dog eyes; I wanted them to realize that I was very thankful for a gluten-free meal so far away from home. I would have said something, but these are New Yorkers! New Yorkers don’t do emotions.

I took my panini and got into a cab for the last time that night. I arrived at Times Square, and wandered around staring at the lights while eating my sandwich. My nerdiness came out when I discovered that Discovery was doing an exhibition on Harry Potter! I then gave a slight stomp of my foot when they told me it wouldn’t be opened until April. Oh, why do you tease me with a flying car? I soothed my disappointment with a trip to Candy Land.

My sack of candy and I headed back to the hotel with the idea in mind that I would get eight hours of sleep before the shoot tomorrow. The rest of me had different ideas. The body didn’t like the three hour time difference and was not about to let me go to bed at 8 p.m. Pacific Time. It probably didn’t help that I consumed a measurable amount of sugar before bed. And it definitely didn’t help that the only channels available were news stations, (who love reporting on events that scare the shit out of you while you sleep alone in New York City).

Eventually I drifted off to sleep and dreamt of the scary woman over my bed. Five hours later I was awake and getting ready for Fox and Friends! After a minor heart attack when I couldn’t find my phone, (I had packed it in my luggage), I headed off into the city to find the “Avenue of the Americas.” I then had my second heart attack when I realized Google Maps was having issues directing me due the tall buildings interfering.

Why hello police officers! Please help the obvious out-of-towner.

I made it on time and crossed into the studio through thick, sliding, glass plates, (which could have sliced you in half if you made one wrong move.) The next hour flew by as I got to know our users on a more personal bases. Every single one of them had an amazing experience and story, and I was really looking forward to them representing Square on Fox and Friends.

I talk to Square users almost every day, and while they are amazed with our product and service, I am just as amazed by them and their story. It has always been mind boggling to me that every single person in this world has their own history and complex life. It’s an obvious observation, but when when you really think about it, it’s hard to fully grasp. Life would be too overwhelming to take in every single person’s life story, but I like to try to get a sliver.

No surprise here, but the three users did amazing! They even had a nice glow to them from the makeup… I couldn’t help but beam during the whole interview. I barely had time to take it the fact I was watching the making of a news segment before it was over. I’m going to quote my grandma on this one, “It takes so much time to prepare and always goes by so quickly.”

You got that right Gma.

All of us walked out of the studio happy with what we had just accomplished; the three interviewees worked through their nerves and had a great interviews, and I successfully executed what I was sent to New York to do.

I walked out of Fox and Friends with a whole day ahead of me before needing to go to the airport. I wandered back to Times Square and quickly had flashbacks of my first few days in San Francisco, (i.e. everyone knew that I was a n00b because I was freezing). I debated whether or not to purchase a ‘I’m-a-tourist, New York sweatshirt’ or head into Forever 21 to find something a bit less obvious. I went with the latter and purchased a $15.00 sweatshirt.

No bag needed. I’ll wear this out.

I continued to wander and stare until I came across our Square billboards. Square is taking over Times Square!

I was starting to get hungry so picked up my luggage from the hotel and grabbed a cab to take me to the next gluten-free place on my list: Tu Lu’s Gluten-free Bakery. I was in heaven as I sat on the stool chowing down on my gluten-free, turkey sandwich. I purchased a piece of their pumpkin bread and a snickerdoodle for the road, and took off for my last tourist destination: the Brooklyn Flea Market.

If you do a quick Google search for the Brooklyn Flea Market, you will be given an address that takes you to an interesting neighborhood. In this neighborhood you will not see a flea market. I would also recommend you don’t go knocking on any doors in this neighborhood to find out where you can find the flea market. I called “Fat Dog Fabrications,” a Square user who sells his products at the market and who was on Fox and Friends earlier that day, and asked, “Where am I?!” Luckily I overshot it by a few blocks and was quickly back on the right path.

The Brooklyn Flea Market is held in an old, almost cathedral-like, building. There are high-peaked ceilings and textiles on the wall. The most interesting thing about the space though was how many sellers and visitors they could cram into the building. Nothing a little pressure from the elbows couldn’t solve, if you know what I mean.

I headed to the second floor initially to meet Don and see Fat Dog Fabrication in action! He was generous enough to store my luggage so that I could wander around the flea market more freely. He wasn’t generous enough though to come up with a shrinking spell in order for me to fit one of his amazing pieces of furniture into my carry-on.

After spending some time checking out all of the treasures, it was time for me to leave and catch my flight back to San Francisco. I thanked Don and caught a cab to the airport where I proceeded to fall asleep and dream of Candy Land, Square billboards, bright lights and and a scary woman holding an orange egg.

When I moved to San Francisco in September, I knew exactly what type of company I wanted to work for: a tech startup. Tech had been something I had become passionate about, and I couldn’t imagine sitting in a cubicle where the majority of the employees were there just for a paycheck.

So I began the interview process at Square, an innovative company founded by Jack Dorsey and Jim McKelvey. Square broke the traditional molds of how people collected credit card payments; actually it broke the mold of all payments. Users are given free card readers that they can plug into their mobile device, and BAM! They can begin to take payments.

The interview process consisted of a phone screen, two, one-hour interviews, a zero day, (where I worked a whole day side-by-side with the rest of the team), and finally a meeting with the COO. At last I finally received the phone call inviting me to join the team, and my head hasn’t stopped spinning ever since!

Throughout the interview process, I had several people ask me, “Do you know what you’re getting into?” And I did. I knew working at a startup meant long hours, a higher level of stress and needing to be able to fill the roll of multiple jobs.

However I also knew that working for a startup meant being side-by-side with people who are just as passionate about the product as you are and just as dedicated. After working at Square for the past few months, I’ve also come to realize that the people you work with start to become your second family; you teach each other new things every day, take an interest in each other’s lives, and try to make each other happy when they’re at their breaking point.

Dinners at 6 p.m. and long, weekend runs have become distant memories. I sometimes get home from work only to open my computer once again because I know there is plenty that needs to be done. I’ve also started to do PR work on my two days off from support.

Your mom might think differently about your lack of time, but to you it doesn’t matter when you are working for a startup you believe in wholeheartedly.

On June 13, I graduated from the Ohio State University wearing my decorated cap, (perfect for people to find me in a sea of thousands).

I spent that day right beside my best friends. We celebrated four amazing years together and spent the rest of the day making fun of the things we had done over the years. (Remember that one night we saw a bush that looked ‘bouncy’ so we hurled ourselves in it?)

In 2010, I also ran my second half-marathon in the Flying Pig. Mom and I dreaded the 4:30 a.m. wake up call, but the course had free Gatorade so we sucked it up.

I went my sister’s wedding where she became Mrs. Lauren Smallwood. I then wrote a blog post about the future of their children due to their last name. (I kid, I kid!)

I drove on a five day trip across the country from Cincinnati, Ohio to San Francisco, California with my mom.

I saw bison, our stoned presidents, illegally touched boiling springs, and road a reindeerbunny.

My mom and I weren’t driving 10 hour days and eating Jelly Bellys as meals for the hell of it however. I was moving to San Francisco!

In San Francisco, I moved in with my best friend and began working for my dream company, Square!

2010 was exhausting, but I’m ready with full force to bring in 2011!

Happy New Year’s!

Of course I’m exaggerating, slightly. The majority of people I met were interesting and intelligent, and I thoroughly enjoyed chatting about blogs, tech and embarrassing encounters people had with Ron Conway. Some people even laughed at my attempt of humor.

Blogger: “How’d you meet *Hannah?”
*Friend who saved me from a concussion
Me: “We met on a dating site actually.”
Bloggers around us start to gawk.

Stop giving me that look. I wanted to mix up my answer of “we met through DailyBooth.” I quickly shot down their dream and came clean though, which was met with some laughs.

I ended up connecting with a great group of people at the meetup, all of which I happily accepted their business card. In fact, their business cards saved me from bringing out the Post-its I had stuffed in my purse. However there were a few people who attended that were there solely to increase the readership of their blog.

These people would walk up to you and say, “Hi, I’m Mary and write a blog about painting my nails! Here’s my card!” They would then pretend to be interested in your blog and quickly wrap up the conversation with, “Well I need to continue to mingle! Follow me on Twitter!”

On our walk home, Hannah and I came to the conclusion that some people believe events are successful by the number of business cards they pass out. We know better though. Meetups are about the quality of conversations and connecting with people. So shove those business cards back in your pocket and forget about increasing your visibility; that will come naturally by taking an interest in the people around you and being real.

And it was. I could run three miles and feel confident that I burned off 350 calories worth of macaroni. After just a few months, running became more than a way to keep in shape though. I started to like it.

Gasp!

I ran my first race a year later, the turkey trot in Cincinnati, Ohio. The moment I crossed the finish line I was hooked! Since then I’ve run six races and am currently training for the US Half-marathon in San Francisco.

Throughout training, I’ve fallen in love with a few products.

RunKeeper app
www.runkeeper.com

RunKeeper uses your phone’s GPS in order to track your route in Google Maps. The app also allows you to view your distance, running duration, average pace and speed, calories burned and feet climbed, (great for the steep elevations in San Francisco).

While the features are great for a free app, I only use it for one feature: my route shown on Google Maps.

It’s always made me nervous that no one knows where I am while on my runs. When I use this app though, someone can track me at www.RunKeeper.com. I keep my runs private from the public but give my login information to people I trust. That way, they can always find me.

Nike +
http://nikerunning.nike.com/

I use the Nike+ system to keep track of my mileage and average pace. The system is extremely accurate and allows you to hear your progress with just a click of a button. A receiver simply plugs into my iPod and the sensor fits into a pouch on my shoe.

One of my favorite features of the Nike+ is their website. My runs are organized into easy-to-read graphs and statistics. Here’s a quick glance at my latest run.

Nike+ Pouch
http://bit.ly/cjhFAf

For someone who doesn’t like to be forced into a certain brand of running shoe, a pouch for your Nike+ sensor is a must. I use Nathan Sport’s pouch. The pouch has Velcro straps that fit perfectly through the laces of my New Balances. It’s so light, you can’t even feel it’s there.

The Spibelt
http://www.spibelt.com/

The Spibelt is what I consider a cool version of a hip pack. The pouch is barely an inch wide but can expand to fit my iPhone and keys to my apartment- genius. Even the strap is genius; it’s made of elastic so fits snug against my waist. The design of this belt ensures that the objects in the pouch don’t bounce around.

Fitted Shorts
http://bit.ly/axr4sY

Runners can choose from a variety of bottoms: tights, compression shorts, jersey shorts and dri-FIT skirts and shorts. I have tried them all, (except the whole skirt thing), and my favorite is compression shorts.  The shorts stay in place and the material wicks away sweat from the body, which prevents chafing and rashes.

(Photo courtesy of http://nikerunning.nike.com/)

Just the other day I was sitting inside a café when I heard wings flapping very close to my head. I looked up and saw a pigeon had decided to enter the café from an opened window.

In Ohio this would have sent everyone in a tizzy, but in San Francisco people merely glanced at the bird and went back to their conversations. I sat there gawking at the bird and thinking how smart it was to pick this specific window to fly through; there were crumbs from pastries, a Mexican restaurant attached the back room and leftovers sitting on used tables. Talk about animals adapting to their environment.

I couldn’t help but throw my head back and laugh as one of the baristas slowly walked out from behind the corner with an exasperated look on his face and began chasing the pigeon. Luckily the barista was a fast-moving waddler, (yes, the barista waddled around the café after the bird). He waddled himself right behind the pigeon and scooped him up.

Another interesting occurrence that has happened more than once is the meeting of the branch.

The first time I met “the branch” I was running around the Fisherman’s Wharf and unfortunately missed the fact that ten people were staring in my direction with hopeful eyes. They were hoping the homeless guy hiding behind a branch would jump out at me and make me jump a mile. That day they got what they were wishing for.

As I passed him, the branch full with leaves began to wiggle and the man jumped out and screamed. I jumped a mile and the onlookers put money in his jar. I laughed but continued running with a heart that was beating twice its normal speed. Now that I consider myself more of a local (aka: I know how to get to the grocery store), I know to run behind the homeless guy with the branch and not infront of him.

I wonder how many times he’s been punched in the face?

Because I spend so much time running around the city, I have collected some pictures on my iPhone of the random things you see in San Francisco.

The giant noodle on Pier 39. “Please do not climb the noodle.”

The Bay Bridge in my backyard.

Towers so tall they reach the clouds.

Hidden gardens in a city where you rarely see grass.

Running from your front door to the Golden Gate Bridge.

Having a cruise ship parked in your backyard.

An endless line of sailboats.

And finally, “STOP! Hammer time!” at the Disrupt after party.

I told you homeboy, can’t touch this.

Although the wedding was full of drama and mishaps, (aka: the photographer didn’t show up, the police did show up, the ceremony was only 2 minutes long and the other side of my new family watched us for hours as we set everything up), my sister did have a wonderful night. That’s all I can ask for: a happily married sister.

She’s already changed her name on Facebook to “Lauren Smallwood” and continually updates her status with “Hanging out with my husband” or “Movie night with my wonderful husband.” I still can’t believe she’s married and not sure it will ever sink in.

With all of this wedding talk though, my dreams have been effected. Just last night I dreamt I was getting married (GAH!). The part of the dream that sticks out the most was when I was walking down the aisle. I looked up to see Ryan as he looked at me. And then he threw up.

I must have looked really nice walking down the aisle…

Anyways, one of my duties as my sister’s Maid of Honor was to give a speech in honor of the newly married couple (as well as help her go to the bathroom in her GIANT dress; she couldn’t find her own two feet beneath that poof). For my own sake, I wanted to post my speech here:

I’ve been Lauren’s sister since I was born, (that’s how these things work), so I know a few things about her relationship with Jeremy that you may not know.

But first off before I may or may not say anything embarrassing, I want to say how thrilled I am to be here in Denver celebrating your marriage. It is such an exciting time in your life and I want to thank you both for inviting us all to be with you today.

It seems so long ago now that Lauren was visiting me at Ohio State University and we happened to hit the bars with my boyfriend Ryan and his roommate, Jeremy (or as I’ve always known him, Smallwood).

Ryan and I knew we were in trouble when they were making googley eyes at each other across the table and Smallwood insisted on walking us home. At the end of the night though, we all went our separate ways. However soon enough Lauren was visiting Ohio State for someone other than me; she was going to see Jeremy.

It was an instant attraction and I soon realized that this relationship was a good thing for both of them. The support they give each other is endless and they both can’t get enough of one another. How lucky that they were able to find each other by a mere coincidence.

Lauren and I may have grown up fighting over My Little Ponies and our favorite N’SYNC singer; (there was even this one time she tried kicking me so I grabbed her foot. She then thought it was a good idea to kick me with her other foot. I stood there holding both of her feet, while she face planted into the ground.) But regardless of our typical childhood quarrels, we have grown up to truly appreciate one another.

As Lauren’s sister I am so grateful to see her with someone who is her perfect match.

Lauren, it is a real honor to be your Maid of Honor and your sister; so thank you very much. You are an amazing woman.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please could you stand and raise your glasses for the “Bride and Groom”.

May the two of you always be as giddily in love as you were when you first met.

(toast)

After seeing over 25 bison in Yellowstone National Park, I fell in love with their big, furry beards and almost bare rears.

In fact, I was able to get up close and personal with two bison. The first hike my mom and I went on today, we ended up walking straight into two bison munching away on an afternoon snack. We were about 100 feet away from them but close enough to see their large horns and massive, 1000-pound body.

Obviously these animals are not to be messed with; however they were right in the middle of the trail. (I think bison are smart enough to realize that the trail most traveled is the easiest to maneuver on.)

My mom and I ended up crossing less than 30 feet away from the bison. They completely ignored us, while we walked along and had googely eyes for them.

A few times during the day my mom said, “If we’ve seen one geyser, we’ve seen them all.” I always responded with, “Seeing bison never gets old.” (Proving that Yellowstone was worth a visit just because I was able to see bison.) I was so in love that even the rocks started to look like bison.

I’m not going to go into details about the geysers because if you’ve heard about one geyser, you’ve heard about them all.

I will say one thing though:

Geysers smell like rotting eggs.

Since then the store has expanded to look like ten stores (all filled with tourist “junk”) and has collected various items for people to take pictures with. For example, nothing drew me in more than the giant T-Rex. Rex and I took a few pictures together before I headed to the giant hare and climbed up on his back.

My mom and I claimed our free cup of water and then jumped back in the car; nothing was bought…

Our next destination was Mount Rushmore! As we drove up to the monument I was thinking, “Wow, nothing like seeing four, dead presidents’ faces in a rock.”

The whole Mount Rushmore experience was a bit too patriotic for me. I love America, don’t get me wrong, but I never get teary eyed when a park ranger has 250 people stand up and recite the pledge of allegiance. I probably feel awkward because I fear I have to relive my cheerleading days. To this day, it haunts me to have to chant, clap, hit high-Vs and beam with pride alongside 20 other cheerleaders. 250 Americans are no different.

My mom and I “suffered” through the 30-minute patriotic presentation and recognitions because at 8:30 there was going to be a light show! A light show people!

The presentation ended with the ranger calling up all of the past veterans and recognizing each one. Mount Rushmore was then lit up and my mom and I prepared ourselves for the amazing and entertaining light show.

However people started getting up and leaving. My mom and I stared at each other thinking, “What about the light show? We waited for the light show. Was that single, light up of Mount Rushmore the light show?”

It was.

We left and cried all the way to our hotel.