With one week until graduation, my roommates and I have been looking for unique things to do in Columbus, (unique meaning not attending our two-hundredth house party of our college career).
We opted for the comedy club Funnybone where Bill Crawford was opening for Steve Byrne. After changing out of our sweatpants and T-shirts, we began what we thought would be a typical night at a club.
I should have realized tonight would be anything but typical when we were seated at the table closest to the stage. Being that close to the stage is never safe; you are instantly aware that you’ll either be picked on, chosen to come on stage or in too close of a vicinity to the comedian and will therefore get spit on because of his enthusiasm for performing.
Luckily I was not directly involved with getting extra attention from the comedian but my roommate was- Jenny! For the last “skit,” the comedian called up six men from the crowd and created a boy band out of them. Of course these men needed a woman to dance for so Jenny was picked from the huge crowd that surrounded us; (I personally think she asked for it by wearing a brightly colored, floral dress.)
She was a great sport in allowing these six strangers to dance all up on her. She even laughed when one comedian threw his legs over her head, while another comedian threw one-dollar bills at her. I’m afraid my first reaction would have been to throw some punches.
After the performance, the crowd filed out and we were all encouraged to meet the two comedians, Bill and Steve. (I’m on a first name basis with them now.) They recognized Jenny from her fabulous performance and asked if they could buy us some drinks at the bar.
All three of us were ignorant enough to think that Mr. Steve Byrne was just doing his civil duty by buying us drinks because Jenny had been such a good sport; (see my foreshadowing here?). So we sat at the bar and enjoyed some shots and beers before moving onto the next bar they invited us to.
I should have known I was hanging out with a different crowd when Steve seemed to strut in front of us and lead the way in his $1000+ suit. The hostess who was checking IDs at the door of the next bar even recognized him from a Comedy Central special! WOW, did I look like a groupie or what?
At this bar my roommates and I were having a good conversation with the other comedian, Bill, who we could relate to better. Steve continued to by shots for everyone but started to look a little sulky since he wasn’t being swooned over.
Around 1:15 a.m. Steve excused himself to make a phone call; the rest of us continued on with our conversation. It wasn’t until 2:00 that Bill noticed Steve had never returned; we’d been ditched!
I was probably a little too bold in stating the obvious but I turned to Bill and said, “Well, he probably realized he wasn’t going to get laid tonight.” I’m one John Madden alright- always stating the obvious.
What Steve doesn’t realize is that I’ve met way cooler people than him. I’ve met the creator of Youtube. Comedian-man, you just aren’t that impressive.
