The Beginning
For the past year I have watched as Ryan, the co-founder of DailyBooth.com, runs the site as the sole engineer.
I have been there through the whole process- the launch of DailyBooth, the interviews for Y Combinator, the funding process, and most recently, the launch of new coding for the entire site.
While Ryan’s first-hand experiences about his startup are inspiring (www.RyanAmos.org), my perspective is one of another nature. I shed some light on the life of a startup’s significant other.
Ryan and I have been dating for the past six years so I’ve seen websites come and go. It wasn’t until the launch of DailyBooth though that I’ve participated in one of his creations. Don’t get me wrong I find software “interesting” but it doesn’t get me excited like it might a hacker. However a social media site is another story entirely!
I remember taking a lot of time figuring out what my first picture on DailyBooth would be. I decided that holding up my thermos and showing my coffee obsession to the rest of the world would be perfect (yea, I don’t get it now either). When I snapped the photo I had no clue what I was getting into; maybe ignorance was bliss in this situation though. Soon DailyBooth would change my life, as well as Ryan’s, because of how quickly its popularity took off.
A few months later almost every conversation Ryan and I had centered on some startup funding firm called Y Combinator (one year later and the words “some startup funding firm” would never be uttered from my lips). I wished I remembered the phone call more vividly- the phone call from Ryan saying he and Jon were going to Silicon Valley for a Y Combinator interview. It happened though and a few weeks later Jon was hanging out with us at Ohio State University (and learning to play beer pong for the first time).
Before I knew it, Ryan and Jon were waiting in Y Combinator to have an interview regarding DailyBooth. At this time I was attached to both my cell phone (because Ryan sent me pictures of the Y Combinator lobby so I could feel like I was right there with him) and my computer (because I was on standby to snap a picture on a DailyBooth thread they were creating during the interview).
My need to be attached to technology has now become a norm (and not just because it’s the easiest way to communicate with Ryan these days). He has introduced me to social media, which has led me to be inspired by the communities formed online. My lifestyle now has more in common with Ryan’s in a sense that I love the Internet and want to incorporate it into my career. This didn’t happen though because of a want to stay close to Ryan during his startup process; this was the inevitable, (which happens to be an important thing these days that we in common).
For any serious relationship to succeed while one is working hard in a startup, I feel there must be a natural interest in the same thing: the Internet. For the next 40+ years, the Internet will be mentioned several times a day; you will have deep conversations about coding, Tech Crunch/Digg/Hacker New’s articles and new website features. I love the fact Ryan and I have something we are passionate about in common. Luckily I found my passion during the beginning stages of his startup.
The Golden Ticket
After the Y Combinator interviews, Ryan and Jon received the “Golden Ticket” as I like to call it. This once in a lifetime opportunity was given to them; sure they earned it but this was as rare as finding a Golden Ticket and they had it!
It didn’t hit me until a few months later when Ryan was packing up to drive cross-country from Ohio to California that I would have to be involved in his life in a different way now. His life would now center on the startup and I would need to support him as much as I could from over 2000 miles away.
Articles are always written about the stress an entrepreneur goes through (especially during those first few years after the launch). What about the significant other though? Do you know how stressful it is to worry about someone so far away and be able to do nothing about it? Almost every day I ask Ryan if he’s eaten that day and usually the answer is no. Suddenly the exam I had next week seemed rather insignificant compared to the feat of switching a site’s server for example.
Once spring classes were complete I was finally able to visit Ryan in California for the first time.
Wow.
You cannot imagine how he was living. His apartment consisted of a futon (which quadrupled as a couch/family room, a bed/bedroom, a table/dining room and a desk/office). Talk about putting all of your resources into the future of DailyBooth! Although the futon was the most uncomfortable bed I’ve ever slept on, I admired him. He was living the dream, which had nothing to do with money or material goods- it was the opportunities he had in Silicon Valley. His living situation didn’t put a damper on any of it. (I did take him to Ikea while I was there though so he would buy a desk.)
I returned to Ohio State University for my last year of college. While I knew I would be joining Ryan in California as soon as I graduated, the time apart has taken a toll (not on our relationship but on me). Having my best friend so far away and living a completely different life was really hard to deal with.
Anyone who has someone close to them working for a startup can relate. All of a sudden your best friend is living a life unimaginable to you- talking with big name investors, networking at conferences and staying up until 9 a.m. to work. I’ve learned though that the right person will always try to find ways for you to fit into their ‘start-up life style.’
One of the most important ways that Ryan has continued to incorporate me into his life is by asking for my input. He listens to what I have to say and we bounce ideas back and forth. I have made it clear from the beginning of this process that he will always be able to ask me for anything, even if he just someone to talk to at 3 in the morning.
I Need to Learn PHP
DailyBooth.com may be over a year old now but that does not mean my stress level has decreased. As the girlfriend of a guy who is the only engineer for the startup, my life is full of stress. I know you’re thinking, “You have got to be kidding me. Your guy is under 100 times more stress than you are!” And you’re right but I feel what he feels. I’m not talking about a sixth sense (aka: he gets a splinter and I physically feel the pain); I’m talking about caring and supporting him so much that I become affected by his emotions.
Anyone in a startup who also is in a relationship needs someone who is supportive and understands the startup process. (If they don’t, they may get highly offended by their partner’s actions.) For example, this past week I flew out to San Francisco to visit Ryan. The first night I was there Ryan released new code for the whole DailyBooth site. I know he loves having me there but I also am realistic in his timeframes for work so this didn’t bother me.
Unfortunately I woke up to Ryan frantically typing at 6 a.m. because the code push didn’t go exactly as he had planned. I have never seen him so stressed in my entire life. It was then that it hit me; up until that point I really had no clue what being a co-founder for a startup was like. I stayed up with him for two hours until I eventually fell back asleep. The whole time while he was working though I was trying to figure out what I could do.
I’m always trying to figure out ways I can help reduce some of Ryan’s work. This of course is useless because Ryan’s talents, just like any founder’s talents, are unique. (Learning PHP overnight though did run through my mind at one point.) Usually the only thing I have to give is my support but that’s enough.
A few days after “our” stressful night, we headed to a Giant’s game so I could meet some of the people he hung out with in San Francisco. It was this night that I had a quick glance at what my lifestyle might be like once I move out west. In the box seats I met some of the most successful men in the startup business and engaged in conversations about social media, Apple, investors and of course, DailyBooth.
Even though I didn’t watch one inning of the game, you might be surprised to hear but I had an amazing time that night. I loved meeting people with the same interests I have and meeting some of the people that I’m inspired by. This glimpse into my future was a little intimidating but I loved it.
My life may be more stressful and chaotic now that I’m dating someone who is in a startup but it’s all worth it. The men and women who work in startups are fulfilling their goals and have more drive than 99 percent of people; as the significant other this is inspiring to be a part of and worth the stress as you go forth with the love of your life.
Remember though: be flexible, be supportive, stay involved in each other’s lives and most importantly, be each other’s number one fan.
