opazazzyzenClumsy and Comical

I’m sitting alone in the Minneapolis airport trying to figure out what I can actually eat here (I settled on a gluten free, dairy free salad. No jumping for joy over this find.) Apart from the fact I’m really craving the cheeseburger that was just walked passed me, I have had a good traveling day so far.

OH FRENCH FRIES JUST PASSED! Now I’m craving french fries too.

Sorry about that quick distraction. My obsession for greasy, salty french fries still exists, regardless that I can’t fulfill my need.

San Francisco is actually my destination; Minneapolis is just detour for me to see more of the U.S. and to view a walking cheeseburger (Get it, get it? The “cheeseburger walked passed me.” Fine, leave me to laugh at my own jokes.)

The airport though is a breeding ground for women who want to find men with Blackberries. Sitting here while eating my salad, I can see five men attached to their phones (two of whom have women sitting across from them with an irritated expression on their faces). They must all be professionals who feel being detached from their phone will cause instant death.

I wonder if I look like a professional sitting here by myself. I may not have a Blackberry but I am typing on my Mac. And I probably look like I’m typing an important document for work (just my blog guys…)

My dad travels a lot and often finds he lives in airports more than he lives in his own home. I wonder if men like him often find themselves longing to have someone to eat with, even if it’s another random businessman; or if they find that being alone eventually suits them. Maybe being alone outweighs the other option: endless conversations about business, the economy and finances.

For these frequent travelers, what is normal? Is normal being in an airport enjoying the food court or on a plane reading a newspaper and enjoying a glass of wine? Or is normal being at home having a healthy meal and a list placed in front of you of “things that must be fixed before you leave again?”

For me traveling is still an adventure. For one thing, I still think getting to the airport two hours early is necessary, and then I spend the next hour and a half twirling my thumbs. I also get anxious every time the plane starts to take off; however the frequent travelers in first class always look relaxed and are already on their second cocktail.

Being in an airport all day is terrible for someone like me- someone who observes and dissects people way too much.

OREO BLIZZARD JUST WALKED PASSED!

Running gives me the opportunity to observe all kinds of people. Lately I’ve had to run on one of the main roads in the area because the running trail is under construction. Let me tell you, there are some interesting people on the streets of Columbus.

Sometimes I even have “conversations” with the people I pass. Just today I got a “Hey pretty lady!” I ran passed the old man and ignored him; it made me think though what the guy wanted from this interaction. Did he want me to stop, turn around and answer back, “Oh I just love when I’m yelled at- let’s go back to your place.” I bet if I did that the old man would freeze in horror.

My favorite people to pass are professionals who have ventured into the area after work. I love watching them because they seem out of place and uncomfortable. They constantly look over their shoulder like they’re going to get mugged on a main street, surrounded by people, in the middle of the day. They also seem to walk around with their head purposely held higher than the rest of us.

My only pet peeve about my favorite group is that they don’t have ‘street’ skills. I’m not talking about their lack of knowledge for finding the best drug dealers or their lack of fighting skills; I’m actually talking about how they usually walk in pairs and take up the whole width of the sidewalk. As a runner, this is problematic. Sometimes I find myself venturing into the street (yes, I look both ways because I have good street skills) and other times I run in place behind them until I can gasp out an “excuse me.”

All the people I go by are thought provoking. However, I do spend a lot of time thinking about the homeless people I pass, which happens pretty often in Columbus. They push around their belongings in a grocery cart or can be found fast asleep on the ground.

One day while running, I passed a man who was passed out under a tree. His shoes and camouflage backpack were placed neatly next to him and he was curled up in a camouflage sleeping bag. He gave off the impression that he had previously been to war or part of the military. What in his life led him to be in the position he is in today?

My advice: take a walk or run around your city. You’d be surprised with all the different types of people you observe, and will have plenty to mull over in your head.

Today marks day five of a headache. This record-beating headache is not something that I’m celebrating (Where’s my medal for Olympic-long headaches?); instead I’m scrutinizing possible triggers of this ache in my head. I had a few ideas:

1. I slept of my neck wrong one night and therefore being punished for it.
2. My head grew over night and is now too big for my neck to support it.
3. My neck is on strike, (holding a head up for 22 years gets tiring).
4. I am now allergic to yet another food and my head is throbbing as a warning; (Being allergic to something else really wouldn’t surprise me.)

I may have had an epiphany about these headaches though- my ipod. I have an ipod that weighs 30 lbs. (I’m slightly exaggerating but my ipod is a bloated version of the iphone). I always run with this weight attached to my right arm, which is important because I have huge knots on the right side of my neck and shoulder.

At this point, I really don’t care where the headaches are coming from; I just want them to go away.

It’s official: at age 22 I’m falling apart.

Racks and racks of scary prom dresses! Satin and ruffles were everywhere! Dresses so short they looked like shirts! Leopard print, lime green, and see-through fabrics!

My head is spinning with these images I have of my afternoon adventure searching for a “prom-like-dress” for my roommate (who will be quick to tell you that she is not a 21-year-old going to prom, but a 21-year-old going to the Naval Academy’s ball.)

Oh the memories that came flooding back to me from my own high school dance days. I was reminded of my own expensive dresses and high heels, the makeup and nail polish, and the unfortunate hairdo that kept resurfacing year after year, which I like to call the “flying saucer.”

The worst year for the “flying saucer” was in eighth grade. It was my first dance and I wanted a curly bun-like hairdo. Instead of looking elegant though, I looked like an alien had decided to park its means of transportation on my head. That was also the year my best friend and I decided we would make up a dance to “It’s Raining Men” and perform it in front of the whole school.

I can’t remember if the flying saucer made a return my junior prom but I have a feeling it did once again grace me with its presence. The whole junior prom is a bit hazy for two reasons 1) the alien flying the saucer messed with my brain a bit and 2) my boyfriend and I broke up two hours before he was supposed to pick me up for prom.

Oh my, that’s a story for the books. I’m telling you it’s great, fabulous, juvenile and empowering all at the same time!

I’m going to assume some background info is needed for this story. First of all, this boyfriend and I were complete opposites, but when you’re in high school you think you can make anything work. There were so many relationships in those halls of Milford High School that should have only lasted a week but lasted years and years. I suffered from one of those relationships.

It’s obvious now that it should have ended months before. Unfortunately after a “session” on the phone, he decided we should breakup right then.

I was driving home, from getting a flying saucer attached to my head, sobbing. Believe it or not, we still ended up going to prom together though as a broken up couple. (Those pre-prom pictures are hilarious; I’m scowling in all of them and he’s hunched over like he is the most miserable 17-year-old in history.)

We went to dinner at a very expensive restaurant but of course I wasn’t hungry. I still ordered and just stared at my food. I like to think that I was feeling a bit empowered at this point; that ordering an expensive meal but not eating it would get back at him (or at least make him very uncomfortable).

Fine so maybe I wasn’t empowering…maybe I was just a bit juvenile.

At prom we actually danced together; I’m guessing we were so overcome by the Christmas lights and fold out chairs that we fell into the moment. Afterwards we went to ‘after prom’ (a way to ensure parents that their children won’t go home after prom and have sex or get drunk).

It’s at after prom where things got dicey. The ex and I went our separate ways- I went with my girlfriends and he went with his soon-to-be girlfriend. An hour later I see him getting rather comfortable with a friend of mine (five hours after we had broken up). BAM! High school drama reveals itself.

When the parents finally believed it was too late at night for high schoolers to have sex, (aka: when after prom is over), they let us leave the school. As I was walking out, I ran into my friend who was ‘lapping it up’ with my ex. It was then that I did something completely out of character: I pushed her and then called her names! GASP! I swear this has been the only time in my life I have ever done such a thing.

After my confrontation I went to the parking lot where my friends were waiting for me. Before I could get out of there though, I had to get my things out of the ex’s car.

It was at this moment I felt empowered, like I needed to express myself and show how I felt about the lack of respect I was given that night! I marched up to him, said a few words that would make me miss recess and smacked him. I SMACKED HIM! It felt amazing (especially because carloads of people saw me do this AND felt like this guy deserved it).

The rest of my high school years were way less dramatic. I didn’t smack anyone again or suffer from anyone stabbing me in the back.

Oh, and never again did I sport the flying saucer.

I’ve talked a few times on my blog about my “I’m allergic to food” diet, which is a headline I stole from an article written about me in a college newspaper. Well this month is “IBS Awareness Month,” making it the perfect time to inform everyone about the syndrome that runs my everyday life. (You know how guys think about sex every 7 seconds? Well I don’t think about IBS that often, but it is quite frequent throughout that day.)

If you had asked me a few months ago how I felt about having IBS, I would have looked at you with a “did-you-seriously-just-ask-me-that” look and cry. These days though I’ve really come to accept this mysterious syndrome that prevents me from enjoying almost all common foods (dairy, gluten, caffeine, alcohol, red meats and anything high in fat).

RIP fast food; you are missed.

The way I look at it, if I were to incorporate these foods into my diet I would be miserable. The benefits of not eating certain foods will always outweigh the sacrifice. Lately I’ve actually enjoyed certain aspects of having IBS: I’ve been cooking, focusing on my interests (as opposed to going out to the bars four times a week), become really healthy and I’ve really learned a lot about myself, which is important as a 22-year-old.

This is me- IBS and all- and I’m happy with myself.

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I’ve included the article (found at UWeekly.com) if you would like to read more!

The “I’m allergic to food” diet

Many Ohio State University students have fond memories of late-night fried-food eating at 2 a.m. Senior Lindsay Wiese has some of those memories too, but those types of meals became a thing of the past when her food allergies intensified.

After many painful days in the beginning of her freshman year, Wiese discovered that she was lactose intolerant and consequently unable to properly digest dairy products.

“A lot of food allergies start happening – one when your body starts changing, and two during any stressful or changing period of your life. So I think that’s why it started freshman year,” Wiese said.

However, throughout her sophomore and junior years, the food-related illnesses continued.

“I started taking wheat out of my diet, which helped a lot, but it still wasn’t 100 percent. I had an endoscopy and discovered that it actually wasn’t Celiac Disease [Gluten allergy], but IBS,” Wiese said. “It’s actually worse [than Celiac], and it has the worst name ever – Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It just sounds gross.”

There are varying degrees of IBS. Wiese’s severe case means that she can’t have foods high in fat – so no red meat or pork, no deep fried chicken or foods made with a lot of oil or butter. She also has a gluten sensitivity similar to Celiac Disease, a lactose intolerance, and can’t consume caffeine and or alcohol.

“I still go out once in awhile, but it’s really hard to be around a lot of really drunk people. I end up drinking lots of Sprite,” Wiese said.

Restaurants pose another challenge for Wiese. Fortunately Columbus does have some gluten-free, lactose-free outlets.

Wiese’s favorite is the Pad Thai at Haiku in the Short North. She can eat sushi, provided that she flavors it only with gluten-free soy sauce. Her other favorites are P.F. Chang’s and Noodles and Company – both of which offer gluten-free options.

Wiese is also excited about trying Z Pizza, which offers full vegan menu.

She’s said goodbye to her coffee addiction and love of study break chocolate and began making life and attitude changes. Part of that entailed getting a cookbook tailored to those with IBS and swapping meal ideas via Twitter @IBSyndrome.

“It’s nice because, being in a college (environment), there aren’t really people I can relate to,” Wiese said.

A typical lunch for her isn’t much different from anyone else making a sandwich. She uses gluten-free rice bread, turkey, lettuce and French’s Mustard, because it’s already gluten-free without having to shop for a special kind.

As content as she is with the changes she has had to make to her diet, there are still some campus staples she misses.

“I miss French fries so much. I just want to go to Mad Mex and get waffle fries so badly! Panera’s soup in a bread bowl – I miss that too,” Wiese said. “I live vicariously through what other people eat.”

Other than diet choices, she also takes pills to stay healthy. In addition to fiber supplements twice a day and a probiotic, Wiese said she takes anti-depressants, not for depression but because they have been shown to balance out how the brain works with her stomach.

Overall, she has a positive attitude and outlook.

“I used to be the type of person that if someone asked me to go out, I’d be out there in two seconds because I’d always feel that I was missing out on something, and now … I’ve learned that it’s okay to be by myself once in awhile and to really just enjoy things that I can do and try to encourage people to do them with me… like being outside or going to the movies. I’m really more comfortable with myself,” Wiese said.