opazazzyzenClumsy and Comical

When I was four I played co-ed soccer. We had purple jerseys and I rocked a yellow barrette on team picture day. There were two things I enjoyed about soccer – the quest for a licorice rope after every game and the opportunity to feast my eyes upon PJ, my first crush. PJ was a little boy with straw colored hair, freckles and a strong belief in cooties – which meant we had never spoken to each other. Luckily my mom was able to document this time in my life by hiding behind a bush to snag a picture of him at our end-of-the-year party. PJ is still frozen in time in a family photo album.

A few years later I signed up to play soccer again, but this time on an all girl’s team. You’d think this time around I would be more focused on the sport and less worried about the people around me, but you are wrong. (I could have made a joke about my sexuality here but decided against it.) My best friend and I played side-by-side on the field as left and right fullbacks. Instead of helping the goalie protect the goal, we would sing songs, talk, and sit in the grass picking clovers. Go team!

I still hadn’t learned my lesson by the time fifth grade came around – the lesson that maybe soccer wasn’t my sport. (Honestly I should have been training to hunt for truffles to put my clover hunting to use.) My friend’s select soccer team needed one more player though so I volunteered. I should have known after the first practice that this was a big mistake on my part. I had yet to lose my baby fat and constantly felt like I was going to pass out from all the running we did at practice. I made it through the season – barely playing and never scoring. I humbly gave up soccer that year.

College rolls around and my friends want to play intramural soccer. I now know myself well enough to realize that I’m not good at soccer because 1) I have bad hand/foot/eye coordination and 2) I am not aggressive. When I think I’m being aggressive I’m really just fouling people. (My token move is to stop right in front of someone and make them plow over me.) I warn my friends of my weaknesses and they assure me our team is just out there to have fun. I spent most of the season running in circles and passing the ball to the wrong players.

And finally, I have reached the present – where soccer has asked me once again to shove on my cleats and pull out my moves. I got an email the other day inviting anyone from the office to participate in a soccer game against another startup – a battle of the startups so to say. “Oh, oh, oh – fun, fun, fun!” I quickly replied-all asking if this was a serious or fun match. The first response was something along the lines of “we will crush them.” The second response was a Youtube video highlighting a major soccer victory in history. I decided not to get in the way of my team’s victory and only participate in a soccer practice. (Leave the game to the big dogs.)

At practice it became evident to me once again that soccer will never be my sport – but no one, and I mean no one, can take away my token move.

Align. Stop. Be plowed over.

Four p.m. on Friday I was asked if I wanted to go to New York City to coordinate three of our Square users, who would appear on Fox and Friends.

Hem, hem, yes! Will pack bags now.

I spent the next hour coordinating flights, a hotel room and switching off from my typical weekend shift, which is no longer typical! The next day I headed to the airport and took off for my 6 hour flight. I ended up surprising myself with a grown-up move and bought the internet, (yes, I now own the internet). I then spent the majority of the flight working.

It wasn’t until I touched down in New York that I felt a slight pang of nerves. I quickly took it all in and moved on to my next objective: get off the plane and run over as many people as I can with my luggage. After receiving world-class recognition for my plowing skills, I hopped in a cab. I’d also like to note that this was the most expensive cab rides I’ve ever taken at $60.00.

The cab driver, after chuckling a bit from the charge he just put on my credit card, dropped me off right in the heart of Times Square. My Kayak.com skills couldn’t have been any better! Although I may retract that statement after reflecting upon my stay at Stay, the hotel. As soon as I walked into the hotel, I realized that I was missing one hell of a party taking place somewhere on the first floor. I should have taken the hotel’s statement, “A place you can party all night and sleep all day!” a bit more seriously.

The room was nice though! Perfect for flying solo. Well, it was until I saw this above my bed:

She visited me in my dreams…

Before my not-so-peaceful night’s sleep though, I caught a cab to the first gluten-free restaurant that popped up on my Yelp search: Risotteria. As I gave them my order, I was giving them my I’m-so-grateful-for-you, puppy-dog eyes; I wanted them to realize that I was very thankful for a gluten-free meal so far away from home. I would have said something, but these are New Yorkers! New Yorkers don’t do emotions.

I took my panini and got into a cab for the last time that night. I arrived at Times Square, and wandered around staring at the lights while eating my sandwich. My nerdiness came out when I discovered that Discovery was doing an exhibition on Harry Potter! I then gave a slight stomp of my foot when they told me it wouldn’t be opened until April. Oh, why do you tease me with a flying car? I soothed my disappointment with a trip to Candy Land.

My sack of candy and I headed back to the hotel with the idea in mind that I would get eight hours of sleep before the shoot tomorrow. The rest of me had different ideas. The body didn’t like the three hour time difference and was not about to let me go to bed at 8 p.m. Pacific Time. It probably didn’t help that I consumed a measurable amount of sugar before bed. And it definitely didn’t help that the only channels available were news stations, (who love reporting on events that scare the shit out of you while you sleep alone in New York City).

Eventually I drifted off to sleep and dreamt of the scary woman over my bed. Five hours later I was awake and getting ready for Fox and Friends! After a minor heart attack when I couldn’t find my phone, (I had packed it in my luggage), I headed off into the city to find the “Avenue of the Americas.” I then had my second heart attack when I realized Google Maps was having issues directing me due the tall buildings interfering.

Why hello police officers! Please help the obvious out-of-towner.

I made it on time and crossed into the studio through thick, sliding, glass plates, (which could have sliced you in half if you made one wrong move.) The next hour flew by as I got to know our users on a more personal bases. Every single one of them had an amazing experience and story, and I was really looking forward to them representing Square on Fox and Friends.

I talk to Square users almost every day, and while they are amazed with our product and service, I am just as amazed by them and their story. It has always been mind boggling to me that every single person in this world has their own history and complex life. It’s an obvious observation, but when when you really think about it, it’s hard to fully grasp. Life would be too overwhelming to take in every single person’s life story, but I like to try to get a sliver.

No surprise here, but the three users did amazing! They even had a nice glow to them from the makeup… I couldn’t help but beam during the whole interview. I barely had time to take it the fact I was watching the making of a news segment before it was over. I’m going to quote my grandma on this one, “It takes so much time to prepare and always goes by so quickly.”

You got that right Gma.

All of us walked out of the studio happy with what we had just accomplished; the three interviewees worked through their nerves and had a great interviews, and I successfully executed what I was sent to New York to do.

I walked out of Fox and Friends with a whole day ahead of me before needing to go to the airport. I wandered back to Times Square and quickly had flashbacks of my first few days in San Francisco, (i.e. everyone knew that I was a n00b because I was freezing). I debated whether or not to purchase a ‘I’m-a-tourist, New York sweatshirt’ or head into Forever 21 to find something a bit less obvious. I went with the latter and purchased a $15.00 sweatshirt.

No bag needed. I’ll wear this out.

I continued to wander and stare until I came across our Square billboards. Square is taking over Times Square!

I was starting to get hungry so picked up my luggage from the hotel and grabbed a cab to take me to the next gluten-free place on my list: Tu Lu’s Gluten-free Bakery. I was in heaven as I sat on the stool chowing down on my gluten-free, turkey sandwich. I purchased a piece of their pumpkin bread and a snickerdoodle for the road, and took off for my last tourist destination: the Brooklyn Flea Market.

If you do a quick Google search for the Brooklyn Flea Market, you will be given an address that takes you to an interesting neighborhood. In this neighborhood you will not see a flea market. I would also recommend you don’t go knocking on any doors in this neighborhood to find out where you can find the flea market. I called “Fat Dog Fabrications,” a Square user who sells his products at the market and who was on Fox and Friends earlier that day, and asked, “Where am I?!” Luckily I overshot it by a few blocks and was quickly back on the right path.

The Brooklyn Flea Market is held in an old, almost cathedral-like, building. There are high-peaked ceilings and textiles on the wall. The most interesting thing about the space though was how many sellers and visitors they could cram into the building. Nothing a little pressure from the elbows couldn’t solve, if you know what I mean.

I headed to the second floor initially to meet Don and see Fat Dog Fabrication in action! He was generous enough to store my luggage so that I could wander around the flea market more freely. He wasn’t generous enough though to come up with a shrinking spell in order for me to fit one of his amazing pieces of furniture into my carry-on.

After spending some time checking out all of the treasures, it was time for me to leave and catch my flight back to San Francisco. I thanked Don and caught a cab to the airport where I proceeded to fall asleep and dream of Candy Land, Square billboards, bright lights and and a scary woman holding an orange egg.

Months ago I wrote a blog post about what it’s like to be the girlfriend of a startup founder. It was a stressful and lonely time, and I talked a lot about being supportive and flexible. But now the tables have turned— on my part at least. For the past few months, I’ve submersed myself in the startup culture at a startup called Square.

When I moved to San Francisco in September, I knew exactly what type of company I wanted to work for: a tech startup. Tech had been something I had become passionate about, and I couldn’t imagine sitting in a cubicle where the majority of the employees were there just for a paycheck.

So I began the interview process at Square, an innovative company founded by Jack Dorsey and Jim McKelvey. Square broke the traditional molds of how people collected credit card payments; actually it broke the mold of all payments. Users are given free card readers that they can plug into their mobile device, and BAM! They can begin to take payments.

The interview process consisted of a phone screen, two, one-hour interviews, a zero day, (where I worked a whole day side-by-side with the rest of the team), and finally a meeting with the COO. At last I finally received the phone call inviting me to join the team, and my head hasn’t stopped spinning ever since!

Throughout the interview process, I had several people ask me, “Do you know what you’re getting into?” And I did. I knew working at a startup meant long hours, a higher level of stress and needing to be able to fill the roll of multiple jobs.

However I also knew that working for a startup meant being side-by-side with people who are just as passionate about the product as you are and just as dedicated. After working at Square for the past few months, I’ve also come to realize that the people you work with start to become your second family; you teach each other new things every day, take an interest in each other’s lives, and try to make each other happy when they’re at their breaking point.

Dinners at 6 p.m. and long, weekend runs have become distant memories. I sometimes get home from work only to open my computer once again because I know there is plenty that needs to be done. I’ve also started to do PR work on my two days off from support.

Your mom might think differently about your lack of time, but to you it doesn’t matter when you are working for a startup you believe in wholeheartedly.

In 2010, I wrapped up my senior year in style at the senior bar crawl. It began at Cazuela’s and ended 16 blocks down at Ugly Tuna. While everyone kept track of the number of alcoholic drinks they consumed, I kept track of how many waters and Sprites I downed. (If you’re wondering, it was nine.) I proudly wore those tally marks and loved every minute of that night.

On June 13, I graduated from the Ohio State University wearing my decorated cap, (perfect for people to find me in a sea of thousands).

I spent that day right beside my best friends. We celebrated four amazing years together and spent the rest of the day making fun of the things we had done over the years. (Remember that one night we saw a bush that looked ‘bouncy’ so we hurled ourselves in it?)

In 2010, I also ran my second half-marathon in the Flying Pig. Mom and I dreaded the 4:30 a.m. wake up call, but the course had free Gatorade so we sucked it up.

I went my sister’s wedding where she became Mrs. Lauren Smallwood. I then wrote a blog post about the future of their children due to their last name. (I kid, I kid!)

I drove on a five day trip across the country from Cincinnati, Ohio to San Francisco, California with my mom.

I saw bison, our stoned presidents, illegally touched boiling springs, and road a reindeerbunny.

My mom and I weren’t driving 10 hour days and eating Jelly Bellys as meals for the hell of it however. I was moving to San Francisco!

In San Francisco, I moved in with my best friend and began working for my dream company, Square!

2010 was exhausting, but I’m ready with full force to bring in 2011!

Happy New Year’s!

My blogging world just got a little more intense – I attended a San Francisco blog meetup. Luckily I didn’t attend alone because then I might not have come out alive. People tend to whip so many business cards at your head that you may suffer from a concussion if a friend weren’t there to move you out of the way.

Of course I’m exaggerating, slightly. The majority of people I met were interesting and intelligent, and I thoroughly enjoyed chatting about blogs, tech and embarrassing encounters people had with Ron Conway. Some people even laughed at my attempt of humor.

Blogger: “How’d you meet *Hannah?”
*Friend who saved me from a concussion
Me: “We met on a dating site actually.”
Bloggers around us start to gawk.

Stop giving me that look. I wanted to mix up my answer of “we met through DailyBooth.” I quickly shot down their dream and came clean though, which was met with some laughs.

I ended up connecting with a great group of people at the meetup, all of which I happily accepted their business card. In fact, their business cards saved me from bringing out the Post-its I had stuffed in my purse. However there were a few people who attended that were there solely to increase the readership of their blog.

These people would walk up to you and say, “Hi, I’m Mary and write a blog about painting my nails! Here’s my card!” They would then pretend to be interested in your blog and quickly wrap up the conversation with, “Well I need to continue to mingle! Follow me on Twitter!”

On our walk home, Hannah and I came to the conclusion that some people believe events are successful by the number of business cards they pass out. We know better though. Meetups are about the quality of conversations and connecting with people. So shove those business cards back in your pocket and forget about increasing your visibility; that will come naturally by taking an interest in the people around you and being real.